I've been stuggling with my relationship with Debbie. I feel like I'm fighting with her all day long and she's unhappy and I'm unhappy. I worry about her because she's so easily influenced by those around her. She is more likely to disobey me to listen to her friends than to turn her friends down to obey her mother. I've been stressing about this for a while now and as I was laying in bed tonight trying to get to sleep I had a realization... If she's that easily influenced by her friends then maybe I'll have a chance of getting through to her if I'm her friend too. I don't play with her near enough and I feel overwhelmed so often that I don't spend much positive time with her. So, while I try to praise her and tell her that I love her often, I am still giving her more negative attention than positive attention. My goal now is to spend time doing things with her that we both enjoy. I'm going to try to read to her everyday and find other things that we both enjoy. She enjoys playing princess and dress up and pretend, but I seriously have nothing to offer her in that department, so when I try I end up bored and irritated. I've really felt bad about this in the past but tonight I realized that it's okay that I don't enjoy that, I can color with her and read with her and do whatever else we have in common. I want to love her and enjoy her company, and in order to do that I need to spend some good time with her. And by golly, I'm the mother and it's my job to love her when it's the most difficult to love her so I need to get my act together and work harder at proving to her that I love her! And maybe if she feels secure in my love then the negative behavior will lesson a bit and it won't be so hard to want to be around her. Here's hoping I can change for her.
Debbie showing off her snails that "the nice boy" (a little neighbor boy) caught for her. And yes, she put them in her princess purse. She's frilly but surprisingly not prissy. She's not afraid to get dirty and doesn't think twice about playing with worms and keeping pet snails, but at the same time wants to wear her princess dresses ALL day long!
Debbie showing off her snails that "the nice boy" (a little neighbor boy) caught for her. And yes, she put them in her princess purse. She's frilly but surprisingly not prissy. She's not afraid to get dirty and doesn't think twice about playing with worms and keeping pet snails, but at the same time wants to wear her princess dresses ALL day long!
4 comments:
Jacob and Logan used to get at each other all the time. So he and I sat down one night a figured out a way that he could spend time with just Logan, he used to get up earlier to spend time with him. Now with Logan in school and Jacob working earlier he puts Hope to bed and then keeps logan up a little longer to play with just him. It has really helped!
Leah, I have those times too. Don't worry about it, just keep doing your best. That's all we can do. Thanks for the reminder, though. I need to spend more one on one time with Lucy. You're a great mom.
Sounds soooo much like me and a couple of my kids, at different ages. Sometimes I feel like we hate each other and we have to reconnect over a small outing together or play time. Wish I'd "gotten it" when my kids were as young as yours are. I was a little slower - I think Wyatt was about nine. He has been very much a follower, but we keep working at it, and have been very impressed with him this year as he's learned to evaluate his actions and others around him and make decisions, rather than just rush headlong and empty-minded.
I love Debbie ! She is such a sweet fun girl, you are a wonderful mother.
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