A visit from Hulk

We had a visit from Hulk this afternoon. It wasn't pleasant, not at all...
I've never been great at eating breakfast and then with getting my tooth pulled last week and being only able to eat soft foods and then add on that I'm trying to support Cosette and only eat what she can eat, my options have been greatly limited so it's getting to just be easier to skip it. So that's what happened this morning, nothing sounded good, especially not anything that was on the menu, so I just skipped breakfast. Then we had to go shopping and at Walmart I decide to grab a snack-wrap from mcd's. Ate a few bites of that and called it good and did the shopping and came home prepared for a lot of running around. Well running around isn't conducive to eating well so once again, I just didn't eat (which for anyone who knows me, that's like, a HUGE deal, and I can't help but be proud of myself for it. Fat lot of good it did me). Come 3 pm I had a minute so I grabbed a bag of sugar snap peas and an apple, KUDO's to me right?? Totally healthy!! Well, healthy? Yes. Stick-to-your-ribs? Not so much. So at about 5 that evening I was beginning to feel a little crazy, a little bit 'not like myself.' I decided it was time to go inside and cook dinner but it only took a minute to realize that it was too late, I had waited waaaaaay too long to eat and Hulk was beginning to take up residence in my body (in the form of a hormonal, temperamental, teenage girl at this point). I was too hungry and weak to even think about cooking so I stormed about the house like a rational person slamming doors and yelling at everyone (mostly Chad, bless his ever-patient, kind, and loving heart) and just being all around agreeable.
"Leah, I'll make dinner. What do you want for dinner?"
"I DON'T KNOW!! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DO THIS TO ME?? WHY CAN'T YOU JUST DECIDE FOR ONCE!"
"Ok, I'll do chicken with pasta."
"NO! WHY WOULD YOU CHOOSE THAT?? THAT WILL TASTE DISGUSTING! DO CHICKEN WITH RICE."
So he went off to make chicken and rice (which he did marvelously, by the way) but by this time the Hulk was making his way to the surface and nearly bursting out of me, so laying in the room pouting was out of the question, I needed to make a scene, make some noise.
What?? There's a door open somewhere?? We can't have that!!! SLAM!!
What is this trash can doing in my way?? How dare you be where I want to walk! KICK KICK!!
And CHILDREN DON'T TALK TO ME!!!
I was just waiting, hoping for someone to walk by and say, "Hulk, SMASH!" Thankfully that never happened so the house is still standing and I'm not in jail. And I finally listened to the sage advice of my husband and ate a little something to get my blood sugar up and that calmed Hulk down until dinner when I ate nearly all of it myself and Hulk decided he'd had enough so he left. But after Hulk left I had some time to think about his visit and that was not fun. So much shame and humiliation but most of all worry, what if I had done something to harm my children??? I was feeling so VIOLENT, very very violent and it was scary and it's scary to think what I could have done. Thankfully, we're all alive and well and the kids missed most of it because they were outside so I think they're pretty oblivious but in my mind the risk was there and it terrifies me. But for what it's worth I did learn a powerful lesson today; it doesn't matter that it seems that the rest of the world can go without eating and function just fine, the fact is that I CANNOT go without eating and expect to function fine. Leah must eat on a regular basis, let's not even mess with this again.