Just kidding...

I hate Celiac Disease. I HATE it. I know I wrote in that other post about how much our life has changed for the better and how grateful I am and blah blah blah, and maybe it's all hormones but I'm bitter and I'm angry again and I'm sick of dealing with all this. The novelty has worn off for Cosette, being different no longer makes her feel special it just makes her feel left out, so now she's fighting us over what she eats and she throws fits when we have to tell her no. Not that I blame her, it's not fair and she is missing out and it is hard and this is something that's NEVER going away. And I feel like we've both been robbed of our right to feel angry about this because it's not like she's in the hospital on her deathbed, you know, I guess you could say she's not even that sick, so I feel like we don't have the right to feel sad and angry because other people have it so much worse. Other people have real trials, we just have a little one because, as I keep thinking to myself, "it's only food Leah!!! Get over it!"
But now, thanks to CD, food is no longer pleasurable to me. I hate it. Mealtimes are mega anxiety-inducing and every morning I wake up dreading the day because I know I have to figure out a way to get enough food and calories into these kids without using the very staples they grew up on. No crackers, no sandwiches, no pasta, and very very limited breakfast cereals. I am not that creative! And grocery shopping is no longer even remotely enjoyable. Reading every stupid label. Having to call Chad to look on the internet about different foods or calling the company directly to make sure something is gluten free. And now I get to do all that with three rambunctious kids in tow. Super super fun. Quick trips to the store are a thing of the past.
But, thankfully I'm blessed with very supportive family on all sides. Leslie called on Tuesday and had no idea what she was getting herself into, but when I fell apart on her after she asked me a simple question she quickly offered to come get the kids for a few days. I'm pretty sure she was an answer to a prayer I was too bitter to even offer, but I'm so grateful for the break. And the kids have been wanting to spend some time with grandma and grandpa Rogers anyway, so they were very excited. It has been a great reprieve, knowing that Cosette is being taken care of but that I'm not the one doing it for a few days.